Tanu Sharma
3 min readMay 21, 2020

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Learn the Art of Introspection

I was 17, I spent most of my evenings on the terrace gazing at the beautiful sunset. I had some time on hand before my mother would call me for dinner. I utilized that time for doing a lot of self-talking and self-questioning. I spent a few hours every day trying to analyze my thought process and the reasoning behind it. I gradually learned to effectively use introspection for personal growth.

We are all capable of recognizing our thoughts and emotions but most of us do not try to understand the reason behind them. Feeling envy, melancholy, rage, and other negative thoughts are very easy. However, what is not easy is to keep calm and understand the reason behind them.

The technique is self-questioning which is an evaluative process and positive self-talking, which is a powerful tool that helps curb negativity. Both these techniques come handy where self-questioning is used to first introspect and then to evaluate the outcome by doing self-talk.

Let us talk about irritation for an example. Many people get irritated easily and frequently. While there are several reasons for irritation, you would be surprised to know that most people get irritated without any reason and they start to blame others for their mood without realizing the underlying cause. Such behaviour is very disturbing for people at the receiving end and it also takes away everyone’s peace of mind. In such a case, self-questioning and self-talk can effectively be used. Next time you start to get irritated with or without any reason, start with the self-questioning technique by asking yourself these questions:

What am I feeling? Is it anger or irritation? (As irritation leads to anger you need to be clear of what it actually is)

Why am I feeling irritated? What is the reason for my irritation?

Is it really required? Can I let it go?

Will there be any personal growth?

What will I achieve?

After you have completed self-questioning try doing some self-talking by telling yourself the reality of the situation in a positive way.

I am feeling irritated, but it is all right to feel so.

I can work out this situation by talking in a calm voice or maybe by ignoring things that do not go my way. After all, I can’t have my way every time.

I will spoil my peace of mind and ruin everyone’s mood.

I will not grow as a person and become a better human being by continuing to do so and by the end of the day I will have not learned or achieved anything.

When we make this a habit, we can calm ourselves down in tense situations and use them to be a better version of ourselves. After all, peace of mind is important. We have to let things go which do not contribute to our personal growth. The key here is to not feed your ego, otherwise, the purpose will be lost.

After having successfully finished this exercise you will feel a heavy burden lifting off your shoulders. Yes, it will take time and practice and the journey will be tough but trust me, it will be worth it.

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